FAQS
Q: What is the funniest movie of all time?
A: Superbad (2007, unrated version)
Q: who is the most underrated actor of all time?
A: John Ritter (17 September 1948 - 11 September 2003) RIP
Q: after Omar, who is the next best character on The Wire?
A: Bodie (Preston Broadus)
Q: who would be the members of the all-time greatest NCAA men's basketball team?
A:
First Team: Lew Alcindor, Center, UCLA
'Pistol' Pete Maravich, Guard, LSU
Ervin 'Magic' Johnson, Guard, Michigan St.
Oscar Robertson, Forward, Cincinnati
Larry Bird, Forward, Indiana St.
Second Team: Ralph Sampson, Center, Virginia
David Thompson, Guard, North Carolina St.
Jerry West, Guard, West Virginia
Christian Laettner,* Forward, Duke
Elvin Hayes, Forward, Houston
* it kills me to have to admit this.
Q: Who would be the members of the all-time greatest UConn women's NCAA basketball team?
A: First Team: Tina Charles, Center
Maya Moore, Forward
Breanna Stewart, Forward
Diana Taurasi, Guard
Sue Bird, Guard
Second Team: Rebecca Lobo, Center
Nykesha Sales, Forward
Swin Cash, Forward
Shea Ralph, Guard
Paige Buecker, Guard
Q: how tall is the Staff of Ra?
A: 6 kadams minus 1 kadam to honor the Hebrew God whose Ark this is.
Q: Is it true that the 'Richard Harris' who sang 'MacArthur Park' is the same person as Richard Harris, the famous actor?
A: Yes.
Q: Why are there people like Frank? Why is there so much trouble in this world?
A: I don't know.
I had a dream. in fact, it was the night i met you. in the dream, there was our world, and the world was dark
because there weren't any robins. and the robins represented love. and for the longest time, there was just
this darkness. then all of a sudden thousands of robins were set free, and they flew down and brought this
blinding light of love. and it seemed like that love would be the only thing that would make any difference.
and it did. so, i guess that means there is trouble until the robins come.
Q: is it true that, if you were able, you would have edited the Robert Duvall scenes out of Apocalypse Now?
A: yes.
Q: Who would the cast be in the movie about your life?
A: Dad: Tom Selleck
Mom: Jane Seymour
Brian: Dave Chappelle
Me: Paul Rudd or a young Harrison Ford
Janet: Connie Britton
AFKS: Shannyn Sossamon
Darren: young Robert DeNiro
Kapelovitz: Martin Starr
Kelsey: Sarah Polley
Ian W.: Tracey Morgan
John Howland: Ethan Hawke
Donna: Vera Farmiga
Kligerman: Jeff Bridges
Mystelle: Melissa George
Pasnau: Michael McKean
Heathwood: Craig and/or Charlie Reid
Carrie Beeder: Jewel Staite
The Famous Illustrator: Willa Fitzgerald
Jen Relkin: Cobie Smulders
David Barnett: Jason Statham
Jen Nery: Julianna Margulies
Creighton: Edward Norton
Becko: Greta Gerwig
Dom Bailey: Mark Strong
Dirty T: Charlize Theron
The Architect: Kate Bosworth
Sechman: Jarvis Cocker
The Chilean Miracle: Ana de Armas
Q: In how many of your published articles do you use Deaton as an example?
A: at least 3.
Q: Which Kurt Russell character is the coolest? (a) Snake Plissken. (b) Jack Burton. (c) R.J. MacReady.
A: Come on, man. That is a silly question.
Q: What does an angel look like?
A: like this.
Q: What is the most underrated movie of all time?
A: Diggstown (1992)
Q: What is the best Australian movie of all time?
A: Wake in Fright (1971)
Q: Anything awesome in the newspaper lately?
A: Yes: this.
Q: Is there really an objectively-perfect rock & roll song?
A: Yes. 'Rain' by the Beatles. It is the B-side to 'Paperback Writer'.